Throughout the five-boroughs, the aliens leveled all apartments, condos, townhouses, brownstones, high-rises, and houses systematically with top-of the line laser death-rays. Afterward, new buildings were constructed, and nearly everyone was relocated to a new apartment; a 10-foot by 10-foot living space with an incredibly low ceiling and a sliver of a window. That is, except for a few railroad apartments in Bushwhick.
In fiscal year 2009, 311 records indicate Brooklyn had 4,042 complaints of bed bugs and 1,729 violations. These numbers place Brooklyn first among all boroughs in number of complaints, with over 50% more complaints than the next closest borough, Manhattan. Dr. Louis Sorkin, a bed bug expert and entomologist at the American Museum of Natural History, thinks the City should offer its residents more education on preventing the spread of these tiny terrors. Here’s the scoop on what to do if you find yourself with these unwanted house guests.
Tucked into the fourth floor of the Armory’s edifice is The Arsenal, a multipurpose loft run by fashion designer Bob Bland, who has turned the ancient space into one her clients may customize to fit their modern creative and professional needs.
Would you pay $2,700 per month to eat off granite counter tops on East New York Avenue? Mayor Bloomberg is.
The 123 Community Space in Bedford Stuyvesant is facing eviction from their landlord, who says he just doesn’t want a community space on his property. Huh?
The Adventures of the Oblivious Manhattanite in the Other Borough are true accounts of spontaneous excursions by a natural explorer distantly descended from a Montauk princess and an infamous Dutch family that helped settle New York. Here, in the vein of Diedrich Knickerbocker, J.K. Van Tassell shares her feral tales in the Brooklyn. In her final episode, the Oblivious Manhattanite needs a paper bag to breathe Into because she cannot see Manhattan from Shrublick.
“I’ve always said that ‘Brooklyn is in the house’ and now it’s official—Brooklyn saw New York City’s biggest increase in the number of residents who prefer to call the borough home. I can’t say I’m surprised. After all, Brooklyn has more character and characters than anywhere on the planet—and we just added 17,392 more. From Williamsburg to Red Hook, from Victorian Flatbush to the shores of Coney Island, from Bedford-Stuyvesant to Brighton Beach, who would want to live anywhere else?” – Borough President Marty Markowitz
