Birthday Awkwardness!
These celebrity birthdays make us cringe, laugh and generally feel…well…awkward. From public intoxication, bad judgement, and crazy tween years, these folks are another year weird. There are plenty of events this week to celebrate, so break out a half-sung birthday salute or a slow clap. Have fun!
Friday
CHEAP INK!: Looking to get tatted up? Hand of Glory Tattoo in Park Slope is having a special sale this Friday the Thirteenth: the $13 tattoo! For one day only they’ll ink you up on the cheap. The only limitation is no hands, necks, or feet & make sure to tip $7 dollars or more. It’s an awesome, albeit permanent, accessory for the weekend. Imagine the release of endorphins, the bragging rights, and the celebratory evening of regret and excitement!
CHEAP TRICKS!: A randy night for sure, formally Ligerbeat, Candy Rain Magazine is hoping to get a look at more than your new ink. The magazine, produced for and by women, is looking for a cover dude! Their much-anticipated second issue is going into print and they are calling all “big” shots from our good-looking borough. A view from Lombardy’s patio includes the Kosciusko Bridge and Midtown skyline. The doors of 171 Lombardy St. in Greenpoint open at 9:30 and are free to those prepared to flash at the door (no Joke!). The contest for coverdude planed at 2am, a clever time considering all will be sloppily lubricated by then, is sure to be a laugh/gasp fest. For those not as risk-gay, there are drink specials from 10-11pm, raffles, and a few live bands (Great Tiger & Guts for Garters to name a few) DJ Dirty Finger, Jah Jah,and Free Danger manhandle the deck. This event is possibly so straight it’s gay. Bring some go-to gays and make sure to rock good-looking undies!
Celebrity Toast: Chris Noth plays Mister “Big” in the Sex in the City series. In ever TV apperence we’ve seen him in, its been really awkward.
Drink of Choice: Cosmo
Saturday
DAY of Shopping:
NIGHT of drinking:
Celebrity Toast: Condoleezza Rice has a seriously awkward face and even more awkward stance on things. Thanks for nothing.
Drink of Choice: Bush’s Jesus Juice
Sunday
This one is on the island, but it’s just too cute a date idea not to mention. The L.E.S’s own 2nd Annual Cupcake Crawl is great way to beat the winter blues. OKCupid that cute boy or girl and take them on tour of some of New York’s most famed cup cakeries! The only fee is a $5 donation, all proceeds will go to Food Bank For New York City. You start off at Baby Cakes, 248 Broome St, at 11am and will head to sweet spots like Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Butter Lane, Dessert Club and the famed Crumbs. Your guide with Walking Tours Manhattan will be on site. Bring a cutie, spot them a hot cup of coffee and talk sugar, butter cream, and everything nice!
Celebrity Toast: Zena Grey is owned by Disney turns 20 and is at that awkward looking age, still.
Drink of Choice: Pepsi or Coke (Which does Disney own?)
Monday
Pete’s Candy Store is an adorable and appallingly hip spot. The usually crowded and loud back room will transform for one night, much to every Brooklyn bookworm’s delights. A lecture series by OCD (Open City Dialogue) features exciting, and sometimes famous, folks to talk on evaried subjects. This week Pete encourages you to go on a trip! Filmmaker Caveh Zahedi will be giving a possibly drug-induced talk about the causes, effects, and interest in hallucinogens. Zahedi has spent the past 20 years exploring the spiritually transformative potential of psychoactive drugs and documenting these explorations in his autobiographical films. The talks usually last around 40 minutes. The next talk is November 30 and will feature David Byrne; I am not sure how the sweet and small candy store will accommodate all of those talking heads!
Celebrity Toast: Oksana Baiul is an amazing talent. She is also, amazingly, akward looking.
Drink of Choice: Many Long Island Ice Teas, before driving (bad role model!)
Tuesday
Head to Chelsea’s own Foxy Production Gallery for a voyeur’s wet dream! Sterling Ruby exhibit, “The Masturbators.” is a forward and provocative look at masculinity and observation. Sterling Ruby resides in Los Angeles and is best known for his sculpture works. The exhibit, featuring male porn stars, is a series of projections of them doing what they do best. The men fly solo for the cameras and nothing is left to the imagination. The audio is a chorus of grunts, moans, and mutterings. The installation is a daring first date, and possibly an even riskier outing to attend all on your lonesome. The show goes through November 21 and has been met with mixed reviews. I for one want to see it! All of it!
Celebrity Toast: As if Twins weren’t awkward enough, the stout comedian Danny DeVito was cringe worth awkward drunk on The View.
Drink of Choice: Many Limoncello, before going on The View
