Hacks and Has-Beens
This weekend’s birthday picks are just plain over and done with, or at least teetering on the edge of obscurity – you be the judge. Are these Celebrities even famous? Raise a tentative glass to these regular joes to commiserate whatever career they may (or may not) have had. This weekend’s events are happening, which is perhaps not true for their Celebrity counterparts.
Thursday
Famed editor Rachel Kramer, of Best Sex Writing 2010 and many more erotic collections will host a sensual reading at WORD bookstore in Greenpoint. Topics sure to be discussed: sexting, break-up sex, porn, and sodomy; just another quaint evening out. Heavy hitters like WORD’s own Kelly Amabile will be there with cupcakes in tow. The naughty readings from "Thanks for Coming: One Young Woman’s Quest for An Orgasm" by Mara Altman and Dagmar Herzog’s "Sex in Crisis” will begin at 7:30. Contributors, Tom Johansmeyer and Debbie Nathan will be sharing pieces from “Best Sex Writing 2009." Post-game at nearby Diamond bar for a drink to cool your jets after all that sex-talk. Sounds like an awkward yet daring first date. Word!
Celebrity Toast: We saw Shaggy bangin’ on the bathroom floor, and we caught him red-handed. But we haven’t seen or heard of him since. A real loss.
Drink of Choice: Half price draft
Friday
Northside: Tonight Hugs is hosting an evening dubbed Cream Filling, a title which leaves even me trying to think of better innuendo. Filling promises dudes, donuts and drinks. That’s a trio I can really get into. $3 well drinks and draft beer seal the fatty deal. So bring a hungry bear cub or a skinny twink to enjoy the endless supply. Work off those calories with skee-ball or on the hopping dance floor til’ morning!
Southside: Join the talented folks of Switch N Play, a crew of gender fluid creatives, who will put on an open drag show with special burlesque and drag performers from all over. Show up at Outpost Lounge, the gritty coffee shop that becomes a local watering hole in the evenings. Its well situated on Fulton, straddling both Clinton Hill, Prospect Heights and Bed-Stuy, and the beer and wine selection is simple and tasty. Queers from all over should come in face and create awe-inspiring wonderments on Outpost’s humble stage. $7 for general audience, $5 if you come in face and free if you sign up as a volunteer! Proceeds will benefit FIERCE, an organization which helps organize, educate, and empower LBGTQ youth of color in NYC. 18+ are welcome with a valid I.D. We’ll see you there defying some social norms!
Celebrity Toast: Weird Al Yankovic has made a shift from weird, to odd, to strange, to almost completely intolerable.
Drink of Choice: Gasoline, hopefully.
Saturday
The always-crazy often-perfect That’s My Jam party is hitting up Tandem this Saturday. The pre-Halloween weekend party is a sign of what’s to come. DJ King Pop and Luiza Sa are residents at Tandem and will spin for the queer crew of TMJ. Get your vogue on for Bloodhound Photography who has been a presence at many of their parties and this time has a portraiture room managed and styled by Miss Lez Pageant Runner-Up, Bevin! The revealing and vibrant work of Bloodhound has been on the scene getting amazing candid and staged shots of Brooklyn residents all over our borough.
Halloween Weekend Scoop: TMJ will return to its Clinton Hill home, Sputnik, for Halloween and is sure to be one of THE parties to attend.
Celebrity Toast: Tila Tequila has bent over for her paycheck pretty much anywhere she can. Her terrible reality show showcased a sad and misled version of bi-sexuality and her Myspace is evidence that the social networking site might finally be dead. Tila kissed a girl and probably didn’t like it, but she’s really introducing America to the queer community. Vomit.
Drink of Choice: Patron (or whoever is sponsoring)
Sunday
Street Smart is a refreshing departure from the usual boy-crazy mess that is Sugarland. The cruising haunt will transform into a gallery featuring Brooklyn-based artists like Jimi McNally, Kamila Latala, Marcos Chin and many more. The works on display are available for purchase so bring your wallet. Pocket Niko, Applemoes, Swimming Pools and Mars and Me take the stage from 9-midnight. Two for one cocktails make this a sure-fire hit. So bring a date and buy them a drink, cause you’ll get one free!
Celebrity Toast: The ketchup queen Tereza Heinz-Kerry almost became first lady, until she and her dud of a husband came up short against the world’s worst leader. Appears a condiment fortune can only buy your hubby a Senate seat, not the Presidency. She’s so over.
Drink of Choice: The most expensive thing on the menu; ketchup martini.
Monday
In the interest of saving some dough for the upcoming Halloween shin digs I recommend the $1 PBR night at Metropolitan. It’s a perfect early or late night depending on your intention. Near by Alligator Lounge gives away a free personal pizza for every drink; I’m into it! This spot always has cheap well and draft drinks. The jukebox and pool table are recession proof fun, cruise the outdoor BBQ in the back and recover from the weekend’s debauchery.
Celebrity Toast: Jon Heder was Napoleon and hasn’t been much else – what a shame. He can’t even get in that crew that does all those hetero-normative (Knocked Up, Super Bad, I Love You, Man) terrors. Maybe not so Dynamite?
Drink of Choice: He’s Mormon, So… No drinking?
How will you spend Gay History Month’s last weekend Halloween festivities? I’ll tell you how. Get ready for next weeks heavy dose of Horror. Hit me up with your ideas/events/desires!
